Happy Birthday Peter

I'm hoping that all parents out there appreciate a school assignment that tries to connect a child's world at home with their world in school as much as I do.

I like those because it's a rare occasion where we get to demonstrate to the educators that we are sound minded parents and any stories our child may have been telling about how we fly off the handle and threatened to make them sleep on the roof are pure nonsense.

Let's face it, though, some of these assignments are harder than others. The one where we had to help our son draw a fire escape plan for our house was pretty straightforward. This latest one, not so much.

Our youngest son attends a Catholic School and his religion teacher has decided to set aside an afternoon during Lent to discuss the Last Supper and it's basis in the Judaic tradition of Passover and the Seder Meal. To go along with the tremendous spiritual significance, we parents were asked to send a letter to our child that they will open at the meal. To add extra importance to the assignment, the day this class is being held is on our son's 12th birthday. Are you ready for the assignment? Here goes.

Write a letter to your child including words of encouragement to help them answer these very important questions from our meal and from life, and help inspire them to keep on their path of faith toward salvation, especially at Easter:

Why am I here?

What does all of this living really mean?

Where am I headed?
When will I be all that I am to be?

After reading that, I was wishing it would have been something simple like a diorama. Still, I am a writer, and the assignment involves writing, which means I've got a guaranteed C at least. This is my son we're talking about here, so a C just won't do. What follows is the letter I wrote, a letter that is supposed to help him answer those questions, and hopefully will have some added significance on his birthday. Take a read and see how I did.

Dear Peter,

Happy twelfth birthday, and welcome to your last year of life before you become slandered with the word, “teenager.” That’s right, I said slandered, and if you don’t know it, to be slandered means to be mocked and have your reputation diminished. The good news is you won’t always be a, “teenager.” For this I am happy, for reasons you will soon find out. Suffice it to say there’s trouble ahead, so buckle up.

You might be looking forward to becoming a, “teenager,” as it is a sign that you are maturing. To that I say, don’t get your hopes up. I’m your Dad, and I want to warn you that the badge, “teenager,” is not one of honor, yet it is a badge we adults were all forced to wear in our lives. Soon you will also, but I doubt you are aware of the power this period of your life possesses.

As a, “teenager,” you will be struggling to swim against the cresting tide of adults who will reduce their expectations for you while becoming more skeptical of your actions. When you are no longer a, “teenager,” that part of your life will be remembered as a time when you looked awkward and did foolish things, things which people and yearbooks will remind you about until the day you take your last breath. It may only last seven years, but I dare say that more changes will take place when you are a, “teenager,” than in any other portion of your life.

Here are just a few experiences that await you as a, “teenager.” Getting your braces off, lots of pimples, embarrassing hair growth, the onslaught of puberty, learning to drive, noticing girls, having girls notice you, shaving, regretting learning to drive, arguments about nothing, arguments about everything, the unfounded belief that you are somehow superior to your parents, a fight that turns out to be a prolonged shoving match with a friend in the middle of a puberty rage, sweaty palms that you hold a girl’s hand with, your experience of a puberty rage, crying the first time you get a traffic ticket, crying when a friend moves away, crying when a friend dies, crying when a friend is critically injured in a traffic accident, crying when you consider that it could have been you moving away, or dying, or injured critically, realizing you should have studied harder, realizing your parents were right about the importance of school, realizing that your parents will die someday which leads to more crying, crying about living away from home for the first time, and crying when you wish you could just go back to being a kid again and you realize that you can’t because time moves only in one direction and each day is important and looking back you feel somehow like you wasted more time than you should have.

As terrible as being a, “teenager,” is, it is the most important time of your life, so let’s celebrate life by sharing some truths.

Truth One: Never in my life did I wish for such a wonderful gift as you, and yet you were given to me by a creator who sacrificed his own life that you and I would know joy.

Truth Two: At no time will your mother and I be able to predict the perils that lie in your path, but we are undeniably compelled to be there when you reach out your hand for help.

Truth Three: The single most powerful force in the universe is love, and love is the reason that Truth One and Truth Two exist.

When you become a, “teenager,” you will forget these truths, and that’s okay, because the world which we share remembers them, and is ordered by them, and so the world remains open to love.

I did not have a say in becoming the person I am. I did not choose my parents, the country in which I live, the color of my skin, the shape of my face, the sound of my voice, or the number of times I would get up in the middle of the night to pee. God did all of that for reasons I can not know, but as I grow older I know my being here is a part of something bigger, that I am necessary, that I matter to the universe, and if I wasn’t here, something would be wrong with everything. And this is why you are here too. Don’t question this system, but remain open to its beauty.

First there was love, then there was you and everything else. So when you are done riding the mechanical bull of nonsense called, “teenager,” just laugh. That time will not define you, for you are defined by love, and always will be.

May God’s glory continue to favor you.

Sincerely I remain your father,

Edward C. Varga, PE