Thursday, December 13, 2012

writing right

My wife can really be a dose of whatever.

In case you haven't heard, I've given up writing. I wasn't successful. No book deal after two years. I'm done. Outta here.

And why give up? Simple. I've been to enough writing seminars with tips from industry professionals and received a million emails advertizing the secrets to getting published. From them I've learned that's the goal. That's the benchmark. A writer is a writer if someone invests money in their writing and publishes their book.

I gave the publishing industry a chance. No one's invested in my work so obviously I am not a writer. The publishing world is a corrupt and indefensible place and I can't take it any more. Just like in Meet John Doe,  I'm prepared to throw myself off of a massive pile of my query letters on Christmas Eve and kill the writer within me.

I was comfortable with my decision until my wife came along with her high-handed morals and pragmatic vision and from atop her Ivory Tower tells me, "Writing isn't about getting published." She probably added a 'dear' or 'honey' after that to soften her concrete-hard words. Still, that's what she said. What nerve!

How dare she fly in the face of the established contrivance that a good writer sells books. Everyone else is crap. We've all heard about 50 Shades of Gray. It sold so well that Random House is handing out $5,000 bonuses to every employee! Honestly, the trilogy is a hot mess of poor writing that caters to the housewife hoping to be asphyxiated during sex. I'm guessing there are quite a few of them out there as sales were brisk.

If that doesn't prove my point, nothing does. Then again, at this point I am not sure I have a point. What if my wife is right? Wait, that's a point! There it is.

What if a writer simply writes and doesn't focus on getting published? That means there is a nobility in the written word. It is it's own destiny! It is worthwhile to do, much like flossing. We know its important but very few people do it well, or often for that matter.

Those of you reading this who love to argue are now saying in an asthmatically nasal voice, "But Ed, why not quit whining and just self publish?" I'll tell you why not. In my eyes, self publishing is the gold prospecting of the 21st century.Ever been on one of those gold mine tours where at the end they tell you all the prospector received for 50 years of work was $30 and syphilis of the eye socket? I have.

And after the tour they tell you how old Weeping-eye Joe the prospector spent his life penniless while he made the mercantile shop owner rich, buying picks, shovels, and whatever else a prospector needs to pursue his dream. There's self publishing. Sure, one or two self published authors are worth their weight in gold. The others are simply stuffing the pockets of the artificial reviewers who guarantee fantastic e-book reviews for a fee.

Christmas is upon us. It is a time of miracles. I will make God a deal. I won't give up on my writing. It is one of the gifts he gave me and I will use it. Moreover I will try desperately to simply craft the best story I can and not worry about the editors, agents, and publishers.

They will just have to wait for me.